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Luke
lost everything. As the saying goes. From the day that he
was let go from his job in the City with nothing on the
horizon, he started to slip slide irresistibly down the
grassy bank of obsolescence until eventually he took a hand
in propelling himself towards the valley bottom. It was
a seductive process. There was a part of him which enjoyed
the surrender – like drowning in warm olive oil. His
job had been heavy and all-encompassing to the point where
he no longer feared death and saw it only as a long lie-in.
Very much the establishment man, Luke had a well-proportioned
physique, important haircut and the healthy good looks of
a successful City trader who wears Savile Row in the week
and Abercrombie at the weekend. This slow, unpunctuated
life was all new to him. At first he tried to become an
alcoholic and built up an impressive stock of spirits, wines
and six packs, but at heart he knew that a real addict would
never have a selection of bottles, apart from empty ones.
He remembered an older friend at university, a seasoned
and committed drinker, who laughed maniacally when Luke
gave him a wine rack for his birthday.
But in other areas of his decline Luke excelled –
he stopped shaving, got up late, watched daytime TV and
accumulated a tottering cityscape of unwashed dishes in
the kitchen. His wife, Rebecca, left him when all the utilities
were eventually cut off and her husband no longer answered
her questions. She was not angry, more saddened and bewildered
to see him so compromised. He hoped that she would be OK.
Something catastrophic had happened to Luke’s willpower
and his muscles simultaneously. Like a lump of wet cardboard
he felt heavy, disintegrating and inert. Yet despite his
malaise, something warm and light within him strove to recover
and cast around for a glimmer of purpose in the dark days
leading up to Christmas.
The tinselled holiday slipped by uncelebrated by Luke, like
a large celebrity in the room, ignored and unrecognised.
The house in Highgate was repossessed at the beginning of
the New Year and, five months after he had been made redundant,
Luke moved into a basement flat near Holloway with a 1980s
kitchen and an avocado-coloured bathroom. He left everything
he owned in the house except for a few items of clothing
and some books. Throughout his fall from grace Luke had
continued to read, but these days he stopped as soon as
the book jarred with him or made him feel an outcast. He
became wary of certain story lines and themes – a
book set in Europe in 1914 was likely to end in tragedy
with all the major characters either dying or losing their
marbles. Those set in high flying businesses were worse
and caused him to recoil in horror. He baulked at anything
too glamorous or too kitchen sink and negotiated a narrow
path of tepid stories and biographies of which he knew the
ending. The woman at the library (he didn’t buy books
any more) was intrigued by his anaemic tastes and often
suggested cosy new publications with blurry vignettes of
a cottage on the cover.
The garden only caught Luke’s attention when he was
retrieving a dustbin lid blown off by a gust of wind one
Sunday morning. It was a small yard, maybe 30 feet long
and 18 feet wide, filled with the debris of former tenants:
old bicycle parts, calor gas bottles, odd shoes, and the
discarded fast food containers of passers-by. Wading through
this urban flotsam, he noticed a rose growing up towards
the sky despite the car tyre leaning against its stem. Lifting
aside the heavy crown of rubber he saw that the flattened
foliage underneath was a deathly pale yellow. In a surge
of empathy he cleared away other rusting objects to reveal
more etiolated and stunted plants within what looked like
the contours of a once tended garden.
Two days went by with Luke clearing the rubbish and dead
vegetation whilst scrutinising what remained in an attempt
to distinguish weed from decorative plant. Crouching down
near the earth, the smell of leaves and soil intoxicated
him and the dirt under his fingernails was redolent of summer
and salad.
At the library his new ally advised him on gardening books
and even suggested robust shrubs which would survive anywhere
and in the hands of the most inexperienced gardener. A week
passed and Luke was on the bus to the garden centre armed
with a list. His redundancy money and savings were dwindling
but he chose plants over everything else. At the nursery
he bought four shrubs and some summer bedding and struggled
on to the bus with his purchases to sit amongst the cool
green fronds like a bird in a bush.
Nothing else cluttered Luke’s mind. It was as if a
sweet-smelling wind had passed through dislodging old worries
and preoccupations. He only thought of the garden, from
9 to 5 and from 5 to 9. It grew and flowered in his dreams.
The names, as yet unattached to families, eddied in his
sleeping and waking hours – Mexican Orange Blossom,
Japanese Quince, Bleeding Hearts. At night he floated over
other gardens, was lifted by the pungent pink and yellow
scents and rolled in autumn leaves.
As summer rose up from the ground Luke’s garden swelled
like green ink dropped into water. Sunlight settled in his
new room and warmed his arms and forehead as he knelt to
weed. His eyes adjusted to focus on the miniscule –
the insects on the lavender, the minute buds along a stem.
Sometimes he lay in the earth among the new shoots to see
the beginnings close up.
Throughout June Luke was in his garden twelve, sometimes
thirteen hours a day. He had learnt the names of many plants
and weeds and with every new piece of knowledge he became
more engrossed. One Tuesday he spent all day planting cuttings
he had taken surreptitiously from the park. He was humming
a quiet tune to himself and neither the past nor the future
held any interest for him in that moment. Suddenly he became
aware of the towering magnolia tree spreading overhead from
the next garden, its giant, pristine white flowers opened
like cupped hands, right then he stopped working, his loamy
fingers motionless in mid air. And he looked up.
Alice Smith
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